On the Assumptions People Make When They Find Out You Are a Geek

I am a geek. I am a proud geek. I embrace my geekhood, and I love it so. These are facts of my life.

However, I find out that when you meet new people, and they slowly come to realize you are a geek, certain assumptions start arising within their heads, and they come to use these assumptions as a basis for their concept of YOU. (These are called prejudices, but prejudice carries a negative connotation, and these are hardly all negative, so I will use the word assumptions).

First and foremost, I have to cover a mighty fallacy people use. This fallacy is the Ner-Geek Paradigm. What is the difference between a nerd and a geek? Is there one? Which term should be used?

Most people use the two terms interchangeably. They are not, however, interchangeable. I'll put it this way: being a geek is far and away preferable to being a nerd, and calling a geek a nerd can be mightily offensive.

A nerd is an anti-social creature. They wallow in their genius, and use it as an excuse to avoid contact with the outside world. These are the folks who smell of rancid Cheetos and tuck their shirts into their underwear (not always, but this is the image I want you to have). They wear thick-rimmed, high prescription glasses, utilize nasal sprays even when they are not sick and collect archaic computers just for the fun of it. While some of these features DO crossover with some geeks (especially the computer collecting), the difference is that nerds do this with an interior air of superiority that they use to scare people off. Their lack of social skills are both their most-used weapon and their greatest flaw.



The above is a nerd. Nerds ALWAYS have a wide-breadth of knowledge, knowing a little something about everything (except for how to interact with other people).

Now geeks. Geeks have embraced their nerdiness. They understand that they are, indeed, a tad bit nerdy, and so come to flourish, evolve and become geeks. Their embrace of their nerdy side allows them to come to terms with it and also allows them a knowledge of a realm forbidden to nerds: a social life. Geeks have friends, often other geeks, but not necessarily. They shower frequently, eat foods that actually have some nutritional value and spend their weekends going to see movies with buddies rather than torrenting them alone at home. A geek CAN have a wide-breadth of knowledge on many subjects, but can also specialize in one area. For instance, there are history geeks, music geeks and computer geeks. Geeks can also pick and choose from a variety of subjects.



That is Wil Wheaton, a king among geeks. Basically that is also what a common geek looks like. Note the slightly nerdy, albiet clean shirt, the shit-eating grin and the well-groomed hair.

Now, when people learn that you are a geek they start assuming shit. The following is a brief selection, although there are many, many more.

1) You lack a social life and/or play World of Warcraft: as stated above, this is simply untrue. Geeks ALWAYS have some form of social life. And while a geek MAY play WoW, it is usually not to the extreme that World of War-crackheads take it.

2) You can fix any computer program: occasionally true, but totally not necessary to be a geek. Some geeks (notably those who fall into the Computer Geek category [and I bet I'll eventually write a post on the categories of geeks]) can indeed fix your computer in any fashion. Some have a reasonable knowledge of how to fix it or stop it from crashing. Others can't do diddly-shit. There is no set rule for this, just like there is no set rule for the common man.

3) You enjoy Star Trek, have seen every episode/movie and/or speak Klingon: Once again, occasionally but not necessarily. I, personally, don't really watch Star Trek, and the only Klingon word I know is from the Simpsons.

4) You have never had any alcohol to drink ever OR have never smoked OR have never toked: while this can be true (there are abstainers in every clique), I hardly see this as the case. And, really, where in God do people get these ideas. Whenever I drink for the first time with someone who recently came to understand my geekhood, they always express shock. I just don't get it.

5) You enjoy anime and/or manga: This is one that even other geeks make, probably because it is relatively prevalent. However, it is totally untrue. I stopped watching anime at 13, when I discovered "real" television. (I'm preparing for a beating about that one).

There are probably more, but this post isn't as funny as I wanted and I want to take a nap. So I guess I'll have to return to this topic later.

Stages of Fan Acceptance

Generally, when I read of an upcoming film based on a fandom which I love dearly, I go through a series of steps, similar, perhaps, to a trauma victim coming to terms with his or her grief, but not like that at all, for the steps are completely different. It has much more in common with someone coming to terms with the end of their childhood and movement into the adult world.

Actually, that is a very fitting analogy, and I am going to run with it, if you don't mind.

I don't think you will.

The steps are as follows:

1) Excitement: "By Thor's Mighty Beard! They're making a Jonah Hex movie? THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!"

Yes, the first stage is excitement. Who can deny the thrill of hearing that their childhood heros will grace the big screen and be forever immortalized on celluloid (although nowadays its usually digital: forever immortalized in bits doesn't have the same ring, does it?). Compare this to the day you discover you are becoming an adult.

For me, that day was like this: Dude! I'm almost grown-up! Woohoo! No more parents telling me what to do! Fuck you, Brockville! I'ma gonna up and leave this bitch! MWAHAHAHHA! Let's burn this crapshack to the ground!

I may be a little more violent and/or crass than most people, but you get the point. I was excited as balls. And that is how I feel upon hearing of any of my plethora of fandoms will be made into a movie/TV show/high-budget web-series.

2) Hesitancy: "Let's check out the cast list! Wait, they've casted Megan Fox. Hmm, I guess it might still be good."

Oh yes, the inevitable downfall from the peaks of excitement. No matter how long you ride the train of wonderful bliss that is ignorance, eventually curiosity will get the better of you and you will investigate further.

This is reminiscent to that moment of realization that, with becoming an adult, there comes *gulp* responsibility. You still bear some excitement, but, inside, an insidious seed of doubt has been planted. You realize you will have to live by yourself, cook for yourself and buy your own food. Fear has entered.

3) Second-wave Excitement: "Screw it, she's hot, if a little bitchy. This is gonna fucking rock!"

But you don't succumb to fear. No. You punch fear in the face and get excited all over again. The coolest thing ever is being made into a movie! There is no way in hell they could screw it up!

Similarly, you don't let responsibility get you down! You can buy your own alcohol! You can get that pet ferret you've always wanted! Fuck it, being an adult is gonna fucking rock!

4) Dread: "Wait, Megan Fox was the chick from Transformers...she single-handedly murdered my childhood! Oh fuckfuckfuck! How could they have done this? Jonah Hex had such potential. I might as well die."

Ah fear. Fear can get punched in the face. He can get spat upon and shot. He can be beaten with baseball bats. Yet always, always he returns, and he brings his big brother, Terror, to beat the absolute crap out of you.

You have slinked and slunked back down, and have hit rock bottom. Who have you been kidding? They always fuck up these things. This is going to suck. You might as well kill yourself and prevent the horror.

Likewise, there is a moment when, despite all your plans, you shall come to realize that adulthood will suck. You can't afford that ferret, that Porsce OR the sex swing you always wanted. Hell, you can't afford food! And what little money you have left is going into taxes and trying to pick up women who you have little-to-no chances hooking up with.

Adulthood sucks! Why didn't I die at ten, when I could still watch Ninja Turtles in my pajamas at noon and no one cared?

4) Calm Realization: "Fuck it, she wears a corset. And at least the poster looks cool. This might be a decent movie."

No, excitement hasn't returned. But you have come to realize that things aren't so terrible. Even if the movie blows, hey, at least it was made and they'll know what to do better next time.

This is the moment when you realize, yeah, adulthood sucks, but it also rocks. You have mature, intelligent friends who can turn into freaking crazies when drunk! Who hasn't wanted that? And that girl, Suzy, she's pretty cute, and she's been flirting with you for weeks.

Hell, adulthood may just be passable.

5) Acceptance: "I can't stop this movie from being made. Short of the studio suddenly exploding, this movie is going to hit theaters. Time to nut up or shut up. I'm gonna go see it regardless of how shitty it is."

And here comes the moment that your geekhood wins over your reluctance. You love this series, you've always wanted to see a movie made. You know that you're going to see it one way or another. You are going to be a man and accept it.

Just like in growing up, you can't stop the progression of film. You have no choice. You are going to become an adult some time, might as well accept the fact and move on.

So, I guess it is time to draw some conclusions. I figure that no matter how much nerds bitch, you may as well accept the fact that life moves on. For every boycott that comes up, 98% of their members aren't going to follow through. Nerds and geeks are nerds and geeks. We stick to our fandoms, regardless of how much they suck.