Stages of Fan Acceptance

Generally, when I read of an upcoming film based on a fandom which I love dearly, I go through a series of steps, similar, perhaps, to a trauma victim coming to terms with his or her grief, but not like that at all, for the steps are completely different. It has much more in common with someone coming to terms with the end of their childhood and movement into the adult world.

Actually, that is a very fitting analogy, and I am going to run with it, if you don't mind.

I don't think you will.

The steps are as follows:

1) Excitement: "By Thor's Mighty Beard! They're making a Jonah Hex movie? THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!"

Yes, the first stage is excitement. Who can deny the thrill of hearing that their childhood heros will grace the big screen and be forever immortalized on celluloid (although nowadays its usually digital: forever immortalized in bits doesn't have the same ring, does it?). Compare this to the day you discover you are becoming an adult.

For me, that day was like this: Dude! I'm almost grown-up! Woohoo! No more parents telling me what to do! Fuck you, Brockville! I'ma gonna up and leave this bitch! MWAHAHAHHA! Let's burn this crapshack to the ground!

I may be a little more violent and/or crass than most people, but you get the point. I was excited as balls. And that is how I feel upon hearing of any of my plethora of fandoms will be made into a movie/TV show/high-budget web-series.

2) Hesitancy: "Let's check out the cast list! Wait, they've casted Megan Fox. Hmm, I guess it might still be good."

Oh yes, the inevitable downfall from the peaks of excitement. No matter how long you ride the train of wonderful bliss that is ignorance, eventually curiosity will get the better of you and you will investigate further.

This is reminiscent to that moment of realization that, with becoming an adult, there comes *gulp* responsibility. You still bear some excitement, but, inside, an insidious seed of doubt has been planted. You realize you will have to live by yourself, cook for yourself and buy your own food. Fear has entered.

3) Second-wave Excitement: "Screw it, she's hot, if a little bitchy. This is gonna fucking rock!"

But you don't succumb to fear. No. You punch fear in the face and get excited all over again. The coolest thing ever is being made into a movie! There is no way in hell they could screw it up!

Similarly, you don't let responsibility get you down! You can buy your own alcohol! You can get that pet ferret you've always wanted! Fuck it, being an adult is gonna fucking rock!

4) Dread: "Wait, Megan Fox was the chick from Transformers...she single-handedly murdered my childhood! Oh fuckfuckfuck! How could they have done this? Jonah Hex had such potential. I might as well die."

Ah fear. Fear can get punched in the face. He can get spat upon and shot. He can be beaten with baseball bats. Yet always, always he returns, and he brings his big brother, Terror, to beat the absolute crap out of you.

You have slinked and slunked back down, and have hit rock bottom. Who have you been kidding? They always fuck up these things. This is going to suck. You might as well kill yourself and prevent the horror.

Likewise, there is a moment when, despite all your plans, you shall come to realize that adulthood will suck. You can't afford that ferret, that Porsce OR the sex swing you always wanted. Hell, you can't afford food! And what little money you have left is going into taxes and trying to pick up women who you have little-to-no chances hooking up with.

Adulthood sucks! Why didn't I die at ten, when I could still watch Ninja Turtles in my pajamas at noon and no one cared?

4) Calm Realization: "Fuck it, she wears a corset. And at least the poster looks cool. This might be a decent movie."

No, excitement hasn't returned. But you have come to realize that things aren't so terrible. Even if the movie blows, hey, at least it was made and they'll know what to do better next time.

This is the moment when you realize, yeah, adulthood sucks, but it also rocks. You have mature, intelligent friends who can turn into freaking crazies when drunk! Who hasn't wanted that? And that girl, Suzy, she's pretty cute, and she's been flirting with you for weeks.

Hell, adulthood may just be passable.

5) Acceptance: "I can't stop this movie from being made. Short of the studio suddenly exploding, this movie is going to hit theaters. Time to nut up or shut up. I'm gonna go see it regardless of how shitty it is."

And here comes the moment that your geekhood wins over your reluctance. You love this series, you've always wanted to see a movie made. You know that you're going to see it one way or another. You are going to be a man and accept it.

Just like in growing up, you can't stop the progression of film. You have no choice. You are going to become an adult some time, might as well accept the fact and move on.

So, I guess it is time to draw some conclusions. I figure that no matter how much nerds bitch, you may as well accept the fact that life moves on. For every boycott that comes up, 98% of their members aren't going to follow through. Nerds and geeks are nerds and geeks. We stick to our fandoms, regardless of how much they suck.